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Location: Montgomery Area, Alabama, United States

Former BUFF driver; self-styled military historian; paid (a lot) to write about beating plowshares into swords; NOT Foamy the Squirrel, contrary to all appearances. Wesleyan Jihadi Name: Sibling Railgun of Reasoned Discourse

Friday, June 24, 2005

"Dense Holy Smoke Compacted to Deal Vengeance..."

Lileks on cell phone courtesy. Classic!

Café, afternoon. Waiting for Gnat’s class to finish, working on a column. I have my headphones on; all hail iTunes radio, because the lady at the adjacent table is yelling into her cell phone. She does not realize that she is compensating for the lack of auditory feedback you get with normal phones. It’s why I make a point of talking softly on a cellphone in public, just to balance it out. And no one ever says excuse me. There’s also a guy pacing the aisle of the café, talking on a cell phone. He’s very important. I wouldn’t have known that if he hadn’t stood and started talking. I’m glad he told us. I feel better just knowing that meeting is going ahead as scheduled. The entire café feels better. The entire café would also feel better if the skies parted, an angel descended, and smote him with a terrible flaming sword. Of course, one of us would have to pick up the phone and say “better reschedule. Bob has been cleaved in twain by heavenly justice made flesh. Uh – hold on.” Mr. Angel, are you flesh, or some sort of divine phlogeiton arrayed in mortal form?

"Pretty much the latter."

Okay thanks. “Not really flesh, but, uh, more like dense holy smoke compacted to deal vengeance. I'd snap a picture on Bob's phone but small insect-like demons are already disassembling it and jamming the pieces in one another's orifices, laughing and screeching. It's creepy. Anyway, I gotta go. Bye.”

By now the woman at the next table would have wet herself, wondering if she was next. The angel would probably wag a finger and head back up. And she’d never make a cell phone call again. In one year she’d be arrested at the mall for knocking people’s phones out of their hands and stepping on them. Two years later she’d bomb a Verizon store.

Ahhh....if only it could be so....

And no...I'm not going to blog about the Supreme Court decision that allows government to take your house so that Democrat-supported corporations can build on your land... No, I'm not. Not yet. I'm just too depressed.

I'll leave it at this: Rhodes Tavern. 1984. Oliver T. Carr. That's all I have to say on the subject for now.


Chefjef responds:

Democrat-supported corporations? No wonder your a're not familar with their work. You crack me up!



Yeah--a bit of hyperbole, I concede. Rich developers and their local pocketborough governments--whether Democrat or Republican--will be the big winners. But yes, Viriginia, there are Democratic pocketboroughs: In my own hometown, lucre-encrusted developer Oliver T. Carr, a huge donater to Democrats and their causes, has the DC and and Alexandria city governments in his (left) pocket. These governments are as BlueState as they come--Alex even advertises itself as a "haven" for people of "alternative lifestyles." Carr is also the SOB that tore down Rhodes Tavern--DC's last downtown 18th century building, a national historic landmark, and a great blues-and-rock club--to build an office / hotel block back in 1984. Whether Carr believes in the causes and candidates he contributes to or not I don't know--kickbacks are just a part of doing business and the area's politicians are "liberal." I'm sure if he worked in Dallas, he'd be giving "conservative" kickbacks. All politics are local....and corrupt. (Apologies to "The Chairman." I suspect he agrees with me about Carr, though.)


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