Stop Questioning His Patriotism!

This Independence Day, Iowahawk featured an articulate guest commentator, who stood shoulder-to-shoulder with great Americans like Michael Moore, Al Franken, and Ted Kennedy and demanded -- demanded! -- that us neocons stop casting aspersions on his patriotism. Who are we to define what it means to be American? I feel appropriately chastened.

Here's the article:

Iowahawk Special July 4 Guest Commentary

by Abu Musab Al-Zarqawi

Americans are famous for their diversity, and nowhere is this diversity more on display than in the various ways we celebrate the Fourth of July. Whether you are a traditional infidel enjoying hot dogs and cold watermelon, a recent immigrant infidel celebrating your new citizenship with a colorful piñata full of sweet treats, or like me, a not-as-yet-arrived-there-American who celebrates our independence through videotaped beheadings, we Americans have an almost infinite variety of ways of ‘lighting up the Fourth.’

Unfortunately, there are some who are angered by this rich Independence Day tapestry of watermelon and piñatas and decapitations, and express their anger through intolerance. Ironically, these angry voices have chosen to ignore the message of the Founding Infidels, and have instead lashed out against their fellow Americans, and aspiring-Americans, by openly questioning our patriotism and threatening our civil liberties with their GPS-guided ‘Bunker Busters.’

Sadly, this chorus of intolerance has grown since America embarked on its disastrous campaign of militarism in the Mideast. Instead of focusing on the real issues that trouble us -- like rampant poverty, Zionist aggression, and our immodestly dressed female cousins who have dishonored our clans -- these ‘neocon’ voices have sought to distract us with a stupid war for oil and empire. Those of us who have stood up in principled, armed opposition to Bush’s misadventure have been branded “unpatriotic.”

This chilling wind should alarm the millions of Americans and future-Americans everywhere who have called for the immediate timed withdrawal of US troops from Iraq, and have expressed their opinion through their local newspapers, peace marches, and rocket-propelled grenades. It sometimes seems that the Administration is more interested in the “rights” of their foreign Iraqi clients than the rights of their own citizens, and their own inevitable invading conquerors.

If nothing else, the Fourth of July should prompt all Americans, whether they are an infidel fornicating whore-woman in a Miami strip club or a fresh-faced enlistee in a secret Prague martyr cell, to reflect on the true meaning of ‘patriotism.’ To me, patriotism is not some empty flag-waving gesture, or spouting jingoistic slogans. To me, dissent is the real patriotism. And what could be more patriotic than the ultimate in dissent – bloody jihad against the kufr and their heretic puppets in Baghdad?

So, on this day when we mark the birth of the Great Satan, let us remember that true patriotism is not a “one-size-fits-all” idea. While there may be precious little to celebrate America as it is, millions of us real patriots will continue to celebrate the idea of America as it could be. Allah willing.

al-Zarqawi and several friends prepare to 'light up the Fourth'

Monk

Update: The moonbats over at Daily Kos waxed apoplectic about Iowahawk's Zarqawi piece. Here's the ever-articulate Markos Zuniga ("Kos") himself, showing off that subtle prose styling that has him universally hailed as "the Shakespeare of bloggers:"

F**king pricks. You goosestepping McCarthyites.

Now go cry to momma. You yellow-bellied elephants.

Stuff for the ages! Trailing the post is a blogstorm of comments, all equally articulate and considered. Hey, when you have nothing to say, say it loud! Say it proud!

Iowahawk responded in the only way he could: with another guest commentary from Zarqawi:

As a holy activist battling infidel crusaders and their heretic lackeys here in Mesopotamia, Allah knows I have to have a thick skin. Still, every once in a while, I’ll run across something that really gets my blood boiling. For instance, after my last opinion piece I got this nastygram from some choad over in Great Satanland:

I am appalled and sickened that anyone would draw a parellel between Al-Zarqawi and the American Left.

Oh, ya think? Well, I got news for you, Moby: I’m not exactly thrilled about any such comparison MYSELF, okay? See, I didn’t spend the last ten years crawling in the sand at jihad training camp, getting my knuckles thwacked by an Imam every time I forgot a Quran verse, and living in smelly Baghdad safehouse just to get compared to a bunch of trucker-hat AltWeekly motards from Austin and Seattle.

...Oh sure, the infidel progressives like to talk a good game. They’ll call you “freedom fighters” and “the resistance” and “Iraqi Minutemen.” But soon as you need some volunteers to take out a grade school full of collaborators, they’re like, “sorry dude, I’ve got to run off some International ANSWER fliers at Kinkos.”

Next, when you string up some smoldering infidel carcasses from a Fallujah bridge, they’re all like, “f**k yeah, screw those mercenaries! High five, man! C’mon, man, don’t leave me hangin’ bro!” But where were these guys when there was dismemberment and heavy carcass-lifting to do? Updating the UBB scripts on their f**king message boards, that’s where.

And please, don’t even get me started about the armchair quarterbacking. They want you to kill crusaders, but only enough that the other ones go home, I guess so they can film the survivors for a weepy poignant Vietnam documentary. Oh yeah, great plan, Field Marshall Von Sundance. I’m right on it, just as soon I FIND A PLACE WHERE I CAN GET TWO F**KING HOURS OF BOMB-FREE SLEEP.

It's not fair, and I swear to Allah the next time somebody tries to link the jihad with these infidel dipshits, I am totally going to snap. And the next time one of you chicken martyrs puts on a keffiya and starts babbling about “solidarity with the resistance,” remember this: just because we are planning to kill you last doesn’t make you our buddy.

B.E.A.-utiful!

Monk