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Location: Montgomery Area, Alabama, United States

Former BUFF driver; self-styled military historian; paid (a lot) to write about beating plowshares into swords; NOT Foamy the Squirrel, contrary to all appearances. Wesleyan Jihadi Name: Sibling Railgun of Reasoned Discourse

Monday, April 03, 2006

Where Is One To Come Down on the Immigration Issue?

I can honestly see both sides of the immigration issue that the right wing of my party is currently trying to make into an excuse to stay home and ignore the inevitable (sixth year) loss of the Senate and House to the opposition party.

For one, I am a Christian who is also the patriotic American son of immigrants, which means I have automatic sympathy for the downtrodden, especially if they want to come here to do jobs "real Americans" won't do--besides I drink the wine the grapes of which illegal immigrants disproportionately pick -- and with great care, I might add. Both the picking and the drinking....

On the other hand, I am a right-wing, Republican, Ghegis-Khan variety gun nut who believes in the absolute inviolability of our borders and our laws.

So, like a good musselman who simultaneously holds that Sura 2:256 and the execution of apostates are both equally true and valid, I believe both in sympathy for the "illegal" immigrant and in upholding our national sovereignty.

What does this entail? I have some modest proposals:

1) The less-enfranchised elements of our society, such as the poorer portions of the African-American community, should stop punching Capitol Hill policemen and get on board with Republican Reptiles like Michelle Malkin, realising that this is their fight. They may not accept wages as low as barefoot immigrants from San Tarantula, but those from such places have made a place for themselves in America outside the collective Ghetto and are getting ahead, so our own native underclass might consider that accepting slightly higher, but still non-CEO-level, jobs and wages might be in their best interest and join in undercutting the influx of illegals.

2) The collective poor in this country should stop idlozing basketball thugs, rock stars, the social insects on the cover of People, NASCAR drivers, pro wrestlers, and the like and start admiring that (probably illegal) Mexican roofer who's on top of the house under construction just five addresses down from mine, who will probably have a better life in ten years than the average "real American" poor person because he's willing to work for a living...

(Parenthetically, I mentioned basketball first because basketball is entirely a thug sport, played by thugs, enjoyed by thugs, idolized and fantisized about by thugs, unlike my own favorite sport -- football -- which remains as pure and unsullied as heavenly storehouses laden with snow. I so despise basketball that I didn't even blog about my Alma Mater, George Mason, making it into the final four -- especially 'cause they LOST to the frickin' thugs of Florida. Dang worthless thugs...)

3) Close the borders with fences, cameras, dogs, Predators, JDAMs, militia armed with shotguns, feral cats, tarantulas, and claymore mines for at least five years. Allow any adult male who wishes to work cross freely, but sell the women and children into slavery in Saskatchewan. (Canada still has slavery, doesn't it? I know they have Shar'ia law in some places.)

4) Don't bother the folks who are already here working -- they're picking V. Sattui's grapes and putting the drywall in my neighbor's house, after all -- but let anyone who wants to go back be killed. Give them liberal leave to recover any bodies of relatives or friends they may find floating in the Rio Grande or Lake Erie, but otherwise tell them that they're dead if they try to leave.

In other words, make America like islam: enter freeely, but die if you decide to go back. That ought to concentrate the minds of our resident aliens, and it will make America consistent with the philisohical teachings of the Religion of Peace -- the apparent successor to our own Judeo/Christian secular world. What could be more reasonable?


Update 3 Apr 06:
Glenn Reynolds has some interesting perspectives from legal immigrants in his TCS column:

Name: Alan Myers
Hometown: Philadelphia, PA
Oh, this is a hot button issue. I've been through the whole battle to get a legal green card from U.S. Immigration authorities. It's an absolute nightmare of insolent clerks and impossible hoops to jump through. The latest outrage is that I paid $200 for a green card to the Vermont immigration office. They cashed the check immediately but said don't expect a response sooner than ONE YEAR! It has now been six months and no reply. What I'm saying here is only the tip of the iceberg. I was wondering when someone was going to report our plight. I am a veteran who has never gotten more than a traffic ticket, paid my taxes on time, and my government treats me like a criminal when I try to get a green card for my wife legally. Meanwhile illegal immigrants are given the green-carpet treatment


Name: Manny B
Hometown: San Jose, California
The illegal immigrants want to come here because we have a nation of laws. But the first thing they say is that they are above the law. I am a naturalized citizen and served in the U.S. Army as required of young men at the time. I applied for a visa to come here waiting for two years. Later I applied for citizenship and suffered the long lines and had to have perfectly filled up and documented applications. We did the same thing for my wife. We followed the law and provided every thing required by INS. Bending to political pressure now will encourage the next group to say they are exempt from the law. We should have ensured our borders are respected and should have done a good job of articulating why it is important to us as a nation. We should ask the countries who have citizens who violate our borders for their cooperation. Then we should enforce the law without exception. Those who come to the U.S. should be required to assimilate, i.e., learn English or any other language we chose as the common language, learn our Constitution and way of government, and require them to show tney want to be part of our country and our way of life. If they chose not to comply, then they should be deported.


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