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Location: Montgomery Area, Alabama, United States

Former BUFF driver; self-styled military historian; paid (a lot) to write about beating plowshares into swords; NOT Foamy the Squirrel, contrary to all appearances. Wesleyan Jihadi Name: Sibling Railgun of Reasoned Discourse

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

The Right Side of the Fever Swamp

Down here in Awhl'bama, there is a series of wildlife refuges that preserve the kind of swamp habitat that once flanked most of our rivers. They're really one entity, but are variously known as Tonawanda, Oak Orchard, and the Iroquois Refuge. Funny thing is, on State Roads 12, 52, or 57, the swampland extends about equally to the right as to the left side of the road.

In honor of that fact, I present today some recent idiotarian a$$hatery from deep within the fever swamps on the right side of the road, as it were. As a Christian, I must attempt to present a Christian perspective, not just a viewpoint that supports my own warped, narrow-minded, brutally fascistic political views (you know--mainstream Republican).

Well, the material is harder to find than comparable a$$hatery on the Left--one merely has to cull a day's comments on DailyKos to gather as much as you'll find here, but it is out there. There's been a fair amount lately.

First off, there's good ole reliable Pat Robertson. He can usually be counted on to prove why he received the Wittenberg Door's first-ever Lifetime Loser award and was one of the original models for the term "idiotarian." Recently on This Week with 'Lil Georgie Snuffaluffagus, Robertson agreed when questioned that abuses of the federal judiciary were "more serious than al-Qaeda, more serious than Nazi Germany and Japan. More serious than the Civil War." HairBoy's words, but Robertson affirmed them, adding,

George I really believe that. I think that they are destroying the fabric that holds our nation together. There's an assault on marriage. There's an assault on human sexuality as judge Scalia said, "They've taken sides in the culture war."

Here's a more complete rundown, with some additional testimony to Robertson's insane genius.* Joe Gandelman has it right: Robertson's a "skunk spraying inside the GOP tent:"

This kind of verbal overkill stops political debate — cold. So Robertson now says our judges are in some ways worse than terrorists. Why? Because they don't rule the way HE wants. And Republicans (rightfully) complained about some of the verbal excesses of Michael Moore?

What happens to a tent when a skunk sprays in the tent? The tent smells. And some people leave the tent.

I agree to some extent with where I think Robertson is trying to go with this, but he harms his case (and the truth) by his breathless overstatements and ridiculous hyperbole.

Another reliable source is Bill O'Reilly (I'm sure Rush has something available, but I can't stand to listen any more). Last night, he discussed the double child murder in IL with former FBI profiler Candace DeLong. Ms. DeLong tried to make a balanced argument that dealing with sex offenders required tough sentencing and (possibly) constant monitoring of offenders, but that these should be coupled with education of parents of children concerning prudent practices. O'Reilly wanted to have an argument about namby-pamby handling of sex-offenders and when DeLong wouldn't take his bait, he badgered her for five minutes, trying to accuse her of being "soft on criminals." He also accused her of wanting to "penalize" families by educating children to take prudent precautions. What a maroon.

Next, we have that perrenial favorite--yes, you guessed it--Westboro Baptist "Church" of Topeka KS. It's not my place to judge anyone's profession of faith or the condition of their relationship with the Lord, but I have never seen a site so filled with hate; so absent the Spirit. Whoever these guys are serving, I'm on t'other side. If you're so inclined, you can visit their site (I cannot, because I have my computers set to filter "hate_speech"), or you can check out the Anti-Defamation League pages on them. Here's a brief sample of their rich, fragrant, deep-delved swamp-floor loam:

Whatever righteous cause the Jewish victims of the 1930s-40s Nazi Holocaust had, (probably miniscule, compared to the Jewish Holocausts against Middle Passage Blacks, African Americans and Christians -- including the bloody persecution of Westboro Baptist Church by Topeka Jews in the 1990s), has been drowned in sodomite semen.

Yum. Here's more:

There is a difference between the sense of the sacred...and the goofy 'communal sensitivity' at Topeka's sodomite Mexican Catholic Church...Mexican idolaters worship bloody rectums...

Note a vibe here? "Sodomite semen," "bloody rectums..." Everyone who's taken Psych 101 is aware that obsessive reference to something in negative terms is usually a compensation for.... Yep.

(Oh....wait....does that mean I'm secretly a liberal?...or...that I'm in love with Jar Jar Binks?!! Nnnnoooooooooooooo!!!)

I was going to link to another site comparable to Westboro--"Landover Baptist Church"--but it turns out to be a leftist athiest hoax. Here's a page from their online store. Looks like they can still make common cause with Westbutthole Baptist, though--it helps that they seem to serve the same master.

Hmmmmmm.... I'm running out of real right-wing arse-wiggery. I guess there really isn't as much out there as there is on the left....

Oh, I know--I'll link to The Door's interview with The Original Atheist Moonbat, Madalyn Murray O'Hare. It's many years old, but, hey, I'm running out of material and it does bear on the subject of this post. Note how she ruthlessly purged wrong thinking from her organization; how she kept to a Puritan orthodoxy. Savonarola would be proud, as would any Byzantine iconoclast or extremist Roundhead. One doesn't have to even scratch her surface to find that she is worshiping her philosophy. False religion by any other name would'know.....false. Oh...but she was a Republican, of the Ayn Rand sort. Ruthless individualism and all that.

I invite my liberal correspondents to find me other examples. Real ones, though--don't just take Zuniga's talking points and regurgitate them.


As if on cue, the Grand Old Man of "conservative" (read: reactionary) a$$-hatery, Pat "I love the Bund" Buchanan, pinches this one off:

Was World War II Really Worth It?

...When one considers the losses suffered by Britain and France – hundreds of thousands dead, destitution, bankruptcy, the end of the empires – was World War II worth it, considering that Poland and all the other nations east of the Elbe were lost anyway?

If the objective of the West was the destruction of Nazi Germany, it was a "smashing" success. But why destroy Hitler? If to liberate Germans, it was not worth it. After all, the Germans voted Hitler in.

If it was to keep Hitler out of Western Europe, why declare war on him and draw him into Western Europe? If it was to keep Hitler out of Central and Eastern Europe, then, inevitably, Stalin would inherit Central and Eastern Europe.

Was that worth fighting a world war – with 50 million dead?

Okay...there's a kernal of truth at the core of even most Big Lies and there's one here too. Job left unfinished; Yalta consigned millions to decades of more tyranny; Stalin went on and his disease spread further--I grant all that. But does this mean it was a waste to confront the most satanically evil incarnation of moral relativism ever seen? Sshhheeeeesh! YGBSM. The average Einstatzgruppen NCO killed more per kepi than any four Gaypayushniki put together. Stalin and Mao wracked up more chits on the relativist Abacus of Death just because they had more time and citizens to play with. Yup...we coulda opened us up a can of Aryan whup-arse on them commies with our smilin', happy German buds, then gone on to colonize Mars together. Does Paddy the Talking Dog-Boy get together with Pat Robertson to dream this stuff up? They both must have wet dreams when "I was Hitler's toothbrush" night comes on the History Channel...

* I link to this post only because it has the most complete transcript of the relevant comments that I could find on short notice. The moderator's comments are...well...what one would expect from a man with "schizoaffective disorder" who is a "Zen Buddhist Mystic." That this and liberal politics go hand-in-hand is...well...what one would expect...

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