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Location: Montgomery Area, Alabama, United States

Former BUFF driver; self-styled military historian; paid (a lot) to write about beating plowshares into swords; NOT Foamy the Squirrel, contrary to all appearances. Wesleyan Jihadi Name: Sibling Railgun of Reasoned Discourse

Monday, July 11, 2005

Book VII: Harry Potter and the Appeasers of Kaboom

"...or, JK goes PC"

Iowahawk strikes again:

"Quickly, Harry, use the banishment spell I taught you! Quickly, before [Voldemort] gets back up!"

"No, sir," said Harry quietly.

"What... what do you mean, Harry?" asked Dumbledore, dumbfounded.

"I mean sir, maybe the Dark Lord and Professor Galloway and the Al-Dementor insurgents have a point. I mean -- we obviously have made them angry, what with all their bombs and soul-eatings and dismemberment spells. Maybe we have oppressed the dark magicians. Maybe the Sorting Hat does unfairly discriminate against Dementor students. Maybe the Muggles have stolen their lands. Maybe knee-jerk retaliation against Voldemort is exactly the sort of thing that will cause them to react with more and more spells."

Dumbledore looked at Harry in silence.

"And so maybe, Professor, just maybe... we should sit down with Voldemort and Professor Galloway to talk about how we can end all this sensless bombing and spell-casting, and start a real dialog between us and the Dark Arts community, and build real diversity and understanding here at Hogwarts."

"Now you're finally talking sense, my boy," gasped Voldemort, painfully rising to his knees.

Brilliant! (As Hermione would say.)


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