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Location: Montgomery Area, Alabama, United States

Former BUFF driver; self-styled military historian; paid (a lot) to write about beating plowshares into swords; NOT Foamy the Squirrel, contrary to all appearances. Wesleyan Jihadi Name: Sibling Railgun of Reasoned Discourse

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Hurricane Relief: The Other White Meat?

Conversation seems to have died down on the Pledge of Allegiance, so I thought I'd poke the stick back into the hornet's nest and stir things up a bit.

The topic this time: PORK! Rich, smokey, fat-backed, sauce-slathered gob-smackingly good gub'ment waste! "Mmmmmm-MMMM! YesSIR!," as Sherrif Andy would say.

We all love it, don't we? C'mon, you know we do! Admit it! We just don't like other people's pork. We like our own just fine, thank you.

It's easy for us to shake our fists at tax breaks for those fat-cat Republicans in striped suits and top hats, beating back ragged starvelings with their canes, just don't touch my student loan or education subsidy, buddy, or you'll pull back a bloody stump!

Yep; we rail at fat welfare mommas buying filet and cigarettes with their food stamps, but you lay a finger on my homestead exemption and I'll stick my twelve-gauge up your butt, Mister!

Why do you think that a) the US Congress is one of the most looked-down-upon institutions in the the country, but b) almost every American has a favorable opinion of his or her own Representative? That Rep delivers more catered pig than Fat Boys BBQ, that's why!

So...the current Republicrat post-hurricane oink-fest: A needed intervention to restore infrastructure in a Big Project the likes of which only government can deliver on, or waste on so grand a scale that only government could conceive of it? A savvy Republican stealing a political march on the Democrats, or an attempt to bribe the people into looking the other way while Dubya Hitlerchimpy morts all world's dark-skinned people? Proof that "compassionate conservatism" works, or proof that Big Government is a hydra-headed monster that no president or party can kill?

And how shall we pay for what we commit? Repeal Bush's "tax cuts on the rich?" Recall another steamin' hump'o'lard like the Highway Bill? Just accept a larger deficit?

Appropos of the reasons for this particular tailgate party, how should we spend the money? Should we abandon N'yawlins to the gators and cottonmouths? Rebuild every voodoo houngan's fetid hovel? Just cast the money upon the waters as billions of single dollar bills in hopes that it will soak up all the oil floating on Lake Pontchartrain?

You tell me. I look forward to your comments.


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