Your Agonizer Please

NewScientist, one of the Left's forums for enviro-correct "climate science," "socially responsible" scientists, and serious research into pyramid power, has its precious little GLBT panties in a wad over this news:

"The US military is funding development of a weapon that delivers a bout of excruciating pain from up to 2 kilometres away. Intended for use against rioters, it is meant to leave victims unharmed. But pain researchers are furious that work aimed at controlling pain has been used to develop a weapon. And they fear that the technology will be used for torture."

Well, duh. Sounds like more fun than my old, now-rusty cattle prods. Me, I want one of these things real bad. The day I get it, I'm driving around Montgomery: "Tailgating, huh? Take that! [zap!] Heh! Cut me off, did you? Get some! [zap!] Bwahahaha!" Friends will ask, "how can you shoot women and children?!" To which I will answer, "you just don't lead 'em so much!" 'Merka, what a country! Ah, but there's more cool stuff coming:

"One document, a research contract between the Office of Naval Research and the University of Florida in Gainsville, US, is entitled "Sensory consequences of electromagnetic pulses emitted by laser induced plasmas". It concerns so-called Pulsed Energy Projectiles (PEPs), which fire a laser pulse that generates a burst of expanding plasma when it hits something solid, like a person. The weapon, destined for use in 2007, could literally knock rioters off their feet."

Set phasers on stun, Mr Sulu. I could use one of these too. [Irresponsible neighbor, walking favorite rat-dog:] "It's okay, fluffy; go ahead and shit on his yard. Everyone let's dogs do it down he...[whammo!] What the hell was THAT!! DAMN, that hurt!" [from front door:] "Bwahahahaha!"

And, of course, since I am a paid tool of the Military Industrial Complex, I will get access to these new toys long before they are available to you mere peons! Perhaps Karl Rove will have an experimental sign-out program. "Sure, kid, take it home! Have fun!"

Be careful what you say to me from no on....

Monk