She's Pretty Cool, but Jesus Rocks!

I post this poem with the author's permission. As you'll see from her intro, she's been dealing with some pretty tough issues (especially for a sixteen-year-old). This will probably become a performance piece in my church's youth drama ministry (run by The Kanh). I post it here not just because I frequently find the young lady who wrote it to be a spiritual gift and an inspiration, but also becuase I've done some of my own thinking (which, sadly, seldom runs to more than enjoying poetry already written) along similar lines. I have been dealing with significant issues in my own life (tho' my own burden pales to insignificance compared with hers!), and have found myself frequently having the same or similar wonderings:

I don't really have alot to write about on here, but I do have something that I wrote awhile ago and I figure this is a pretty cool place to put it. I recently was diagnosed with Carcinoid cancer ... I wrote this a few nights afterI was daignosed.

I wonder ...

I woder where tomorrow comes from, where is it going today?
I wonder why I’m so tired and hungry but yet so full?
Why can’t I think, move, breathe?
Why did He give and I receive?
Why does He try and take away, but I hold on?
Why was I chosen?
What makes me so special?
I feel sick, nauseous, chest hurts, it's cold, and sometimes lonely.
But I know others have gone before me and won, and I know I can do the same.
I wonder is life gunna change?
Has it already and I missed it?
Why do I already want to give in?
Why should I fight, what’s to lose?
Where is He going with this, where am I taking it?
Can I look past it or thru it?
Why is He so strong and how can He hold me?
Why has he already taken everything?
Why do I need Him?
What’s in it for Him?
I’m still tired but I can’t Sleep.
All I do is think, think about tomorrow, think about today,
Yesterday, next week, next year.
And sometimes I’m too tired to think so I sit, and wait, and watch.
For what I don’t know, but I’m still sitting, and waiting, and watching.
As I’m sitting, and waiting, and watching
I'm watching as He paints a picture, a picture of my life.
Its dreams, hopes, worries, desperation,
But it goes blurry with one stroke, and with the second stroke its wiped clean Except for 3 spots.
I see this and I’m amazed and I sit, and wait, and watch
Because I’m to tired to think or move.
So He does it all for me.
And I wonder … but I’m too tired to think.

Audra, you are one cool kid! (Okay, maybe not as cool as my two, but only the tiniest smidge less...) Thank you...

Monk