What Victory for Islam Means, Part 2

Here's an interesting little demographic tidbit:

One United Nations estimate says from 113 million to 200 million women around the world are demographically "missing." Every year, from 1.5 million to 3 million women and girls lose their lives as a result of gender-based violence or neglect.

How could this possibly be true? Here are some of the factors:

In countries where the birth of a boy is considered a gift and the birth of a girl a curse from the gods, selective abortion and infanticide eliminate female babies.

In countries where women are considered the property of men, their fathers and brothers can murder them for choosing their own sexual partners. These are called "honor" killings...

Young brides are killed if their fathers do not pay sufficient money to the men who have married them. These are called "dowry deaths"...

The brutal international sex trade in young girls kills uncounted numbers of them.

Domestic violence is a major cause of death of women in every country.

So little value is placed on women's health that every year roughly 600,000 women die giving birth.

Six thousand girls undergo genital mutilation every day, according to the World Health Organization. Many die; others live the rest of their lives in crippling pain.

And nowhere is womanhood honored more than in the nations blessed to be under submission to the Religion of Peace.

The author of the piece comes to an interesting conclusion:

A culture that carves the genitals of young girls, hobbles their minds, and justifies their physical oppression is not equal to a culture that believes women have the same rights as men.

The author is one Ayaan Hirsi Ali, about whom the International Herald Tribune has this to say,

Ayaan Hirsi Ali, a Somali-born Dutch legislator, lives under 24-hour protection because of death threats against her by Islamic radicals since the murder of Theo van Gogh, with whom she made the film "Submission" about women and Islam.

If islam wins the world war we are in, the conditions described above will be the fate of half the world's population.

Monk

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What Victory for Islam Means, Part 1

Europe is being conquered, slowly but surely, by an army of immigrant muslims. Here's a small taste of what such conquest means:

The wave of robberies the city of Malmö has witnessed during this past year is part of a “war against the Swedes.” This is the explanation given by young robbers from immigrant backgrounds when questioned about why they only rob native Swedes, in interviews with Petra Åkesson for her thesis in sociology. “I read a report about young robbers in Stockholm and Malmö and wanted to know why they rob other youths. It usually does not involve a lot of money,” she says. She interviewed boys between 15 and 17 years old, both individually and in groups.

Almost 90% of all robberies reported to the police were committed by gangs, not individuals. “When we are in the city and robbing we are waging a war, waging a war against the Swedes.” This argument was repeated several times. “Power for me means that the Swedes shall look at me, lie down on the ground and kiss my feet.” The boys explain, laughingly, that “there is a thrilling sensation in your body when you’re robbing, you feel satisfied and happy, it feels as if you’ve succeeded, it simply feels good.” “It’s so easy to rob Swedes, so easy.” “We rob every single day, as often as we want to, whenever we want to.” The immigrant youth regard the Swedes as stupid and cowardly: “The Swedes don’t do anything, they just give us the stuff. They’re so wimpy.” The young robbers do not plan their crimes: “No, we just see some Swedes that look rich or have nice mobile phones and then we rob them.”

...

It is interesting to note that these Muslim immigrants state quite openly that they are involved in a “war,” and see participation in crime and harassment of the native population as such. This is completely in line with what I have posited before. The number of rape charges in Sweden has quadrupled in just above twenty years. Rape cases involving children under the age of 15 are six times as common today as they were a generation ago.

Malmö in Sweden, set to become the first Scandinavian city with a Muslim majority within a decade or two, has nine times as many reported robberies per capita as Copenhagen, Denmark. Yet the number one priority for the political class in Sweden during this year’s national election campaign seems to be demonizing neighboring Denmark for “xenophobia” and a “brutal” debate about Muslim immigration.

Coming to a street corner near you.

Monk

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Christian Carnival CXV

This week's Christian Carnival is up at The Secret Life of Gary.

Rev Ed at Attention Span continues his series on "what's wrong with church" by noting what's right with church. Some of what he says is controversial:

Paul writes extensively in Corinthians about the problems which occur when sinfulness becomes tolerated and even celebrated within the context of God's people. Steps to church discipline are laid out by Jesus Himself in Matthew 18, and the principle is clearly featured in Paul's first letter to the church at Corinth. We, as Christians, are actually supposed to boot people from our fellowship!

I'm sure you all have scenarios running through your minds about what would happen if the church were to cast out Old Lady Jenkins, the human gossip machine. You're imagining the fallout from disassociating Old Man Taylor, the shady businessman on the church board. I know this sounds drastic, but it is what Scripture tells us to do. And Paul tells us why in 1 Corinthians 5:5:

"Hand this man over to Satan, so that the sinful nature may be destroyed and his spirit saved on the day of the Lord."

I would be ejected myself if congregations really acted this way, as would about 2/3 of the rest of my church. None of us measure up -- that's why we need Christ's grace.

A number of the posts mark the annivesary of Terri Schiavo's death. Although I opposed the euthanizing of Schiavo, I chose not to participate in the blogburst surrounding the date of her feeding tube removal becuase there are other, more important, anniversaries I haven't honored in these pages, like that of the death of my Mom and it would be unseemly of me to pretend that the Schiavo matter was more important. I'll keep my thoughts on my Mom to myself for now. Nonetheless, here is a thoughtful treatment of the Schiavo matter from Carolingian Conservative:

Since the material conditions of our lives are ahistorical, but our fallen nature is still unchanged and the requirements of our God are unchanged – we face a set of ahistorical moral choices. I have been haunted over the last several years, as the the speed and quality of new material marvels increase, by Gen:3:21: 21 The LORD God made garments of skin for Adam and his wife and clothed them. 22 And the LORD God said, "The man has now become like one of us, knowing good and evil. He must not be allowed to reach out his hand and take also from the tree of life and eat, and live forever."

This haunts me because it seems that technology has taken us beyond (or is taking us or potentially will take us) beyond our finite capacity to make moral choices. Terri Shiavo is a manifestation of that, but so are many others. A moral world, a Christian world, would have rendered aid to Terri Shiavo, but absent the material capacity that is very recent – she would have died because we lacked to power to alter the ending of life in her case. Now, and increasingly and increasingly rapidly, we can.

This is not a Luddite rant or an argument for indifference – although I know that I will likely be accused of both – it is merely to know that with Terri Schiavo and all these other things that confront us – we are outside the pre-existing bounds of ethics – even Christian ethics. The moral choices we face are a moral terra incognita. I know several deeply Christian physicians, and they are very uneasy with this argument. For them, modern medicine is a gift from God that allows them to do good and to heal. I am not denying that or wishing or thinking that it would be better otherwise. But I do know that Christians are beginning to face an ever increasing number of moral choices that no other generation has faced before and must defend increasingly unpopular positions that seem to leave matters in God’s hands or not to violate His commandments regardless of the real benefits to others of doing otherwise.

Read the whole thing. It's hard to know where to come down on such issues.

Monk

Update 31 Mar 06: Rev Ed at the esteemed Attention Span clarifies his position:

Don't misunderstand, Monk. Read the context of Matthew 18 and of 1 Corinthians 5. This is for people who refuse to acknowledge the sinfulness of what they are doing, not for people who sin and ask forgiveness.

If 2/3 of your church will not acknowledge their sin as being sin, then the church has big problems.

Indeed. I think he is right; this is my understanding of the issue as well and I'm gratified he posted the clarification. That narrows things at my church to only a few, thankfully, but it's interesting that I can think of at least one couple who do meet Rev Ed's (and Paul's) criteria. Word of caution, of course: we all rationalize and may choose not to acknowledge sin as sin even to ourselves. Sometimes I envy the muslims: Life is so simple for them -- follow a few ritual rules and heaven is guaranteed; no moral ambiguity for them. Of course, then it just becomes religion and not a life of the Spirit.

Thanks Rev Ed.
Monk

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Terror in the Streets

I spoke too soon in my last post concerning how encouraging peaceful demonstrations in favor of work in this country contrasted favorably with with the growing violence and incitement to terror in France.

It is widely acknowledged that the common house cat is the most French of domesticated animals: emotionally distant and uncaring; interested only in what you can give it, not what it can give to you (unlike dogs, who love to please); and obnoxiously supercilious when grown, however cute it may be early in life. It's a perfect fit.

Well, our demonstrators of late may not be taking a French turn, but the common house cat may be. And this may betoken the subversion of our nation through means other than public outcry. Witness this tale of terror from Bluestate Connecticut:

A ferocious feline terrorized a quiet Fairfield neighborhood, to the point that residents are seeking help from the law to stop the so-called "Terrorist of Sunset Circle."

Lewis, a 5-year-old, black-and-white longhaired cat, attacked at least a half-dozen people on the cul-de-sac and even took on the local Avon lady, neighbors say.

"I was walking along the sidewalk when he sprang at me. I never saw it coming, but that's how it often is. He comes at you from behind, springs and wraps himself around your legs, biting and scratching," she said. "The last time I had three bites and eight scratches and I ended up at the walk-in clinic.

Solveira was so concerned about Lewis' attacks in the neighborhood of neatly kept homes off High Street that she placed a restraining order on him. It was the first time such an action was taken against a cat in Fairfield and possibly in the state. In effect, Lewis is under house arrest, forbidden to leave his home.

There is a simple Redstate solution to the dilemma: grab the feral little varmint by the scruff of its neck and decide quickly whether you're feeling humane or civic-minded, the latter evidenced by a sharp twist of the wrist, painlessly severing the creature's spinal column from its deranged brain.

We cannot expect such decisiveness from our Bluestate friends, however. They have ordered a court injunction against the cat--"it's the Government's problem!"--and are doubtless seeking a UN resolution to resolve the issue in a manner fair both to the local citizenry and the feral feline. Perhaps there will be a no-attacks for milk policy put in place (just don't let Kofi's son administer it).

In the larger sense, of course, this shows the relative helplessness of our Bluestateers in the absence of Redstaters to protect them--love the court injunction!--but it may also show how our own country may fall to muslim dhimmitude: perhaps now they're training the animals! I am fortunate that my own cat is a lover, not a fighter--much more Pepe le Pew (complete with scent at the moment), not a Lewis. But who knows what he's really thinking? "I wonder if he tastes like chicken..."

Monk

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Vive la Difference!

This picture from southern Cal's student demonstrations yesterday may incense many American voters and certainly won't win many converts to the cause of amnesty for "guest" (read, "illegal") alien workers, but it's a darned sight better than this

Or this

Despite all the disrespect for the flag, public decency, and the rule of law evidenced in the deomonstrataions, those here in the States were almost entirely peaceful; those in France entailed your typical romantic rush to the barricades followed by the equally romantic mob violence.

More importantly, those protesting here were fighting to get here, stay here, and work for a living. Whatever you may think about the economic falsehood that they are taking jobs Americans won't (I don't see them rushing into the mines of West Virginia), they are here to make better lives for themselves and their families in a country with half the unemployment of France and twice its growth rate.

The romantic French youth are protesting to get the same state welfare check their central government doles out to their parents while calling it a wage -- they want the unfirable sinecures their parents enjoy, at the expense of job formation and economic opportunity. And French menial jobs really are being taken from those unwilling to work for anything but articfically inflated wages. In the process, France is being slowly conquered by its overwhelmingly muslim lower working class. Those muslim youths in the banliues who suffer 40+ percent unemployment have bought into the worst of both the West and the Mideast. They form a bachelor herd army that will one day overrun the aging French organs of state and set up something infinetly worse than the panty-wasted old woman that is today's France, using it as a stepping stone to accomplish what Abbasid armies could not in al Andalus 1200 years ago, Ottoman armies could not 300 years ago, and Nazi and Soviet armies could not in the last century.

Protest away, o rmantic youth of France. The time in which you are permitted to do so is coming to an end soon....

Monk

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Christian Carnival CXIV

This week's Christian Carnival is up at all kinds of time.

Ed at Attention Span does a bang-up job of nailing "the club mentality." I see this as one of the principle sins of my own local church. There are definitely clubs within in, resisting the work of the Spirit, as Ed identifies:

I've spent far too much time shaking my head at the actions of church members. I've heard far too many stories of the most unchristian responses from supposedly Christian individuals. Certainly we're all sinners and can't be expected to behave as we should every time, but often that is simply an excuse for not seeking to do as Christ has taught. It's a cop out. And I see it done primarily in those people who view their church as a club.

What do I mean by that? I mean those churches who guard their traditions and their people from all who might change something and have little regard for others outside of their own sanctuary. A church where one must be an accepted part of the group or else face virtual shunning. I'm sure you know about them. I could show you a small church where the pastor would bring visitors on Sunday only to have them virtually ignored for the better part of two hours by the spiritually negligent. Why were these folks ignored? They were different. They wouldn't fit in. They're not "one of us" -- meaning they aren't going to be allowed to become "one of us" at any cost.

Monk

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That Was Close!

It seems President Dubya has made a deal that narrowly averts civil war in Iraq. Scrappleface has all the details:

(2006-03-20) — Under pressure from Sen. Joseph Biden, D-DE, to prevent a civil war in Iraq, President George Bush today ordered a New York-based finance firm to arrange a merger between Iraq’s radical Sunni and Shiite sects.

If the new entity, dubbed Shuniite Islam (pronounced Shoe-Knee-Ite), passes muster with anti-trust regulators, the sect will have a commanding share of Iraq’s radical religion market, according to an unnamed White House source.

“I can’t believe we didn’t think of this sooner,” said the Bush Administration insider. “Thanks to Joe Biden, the Iraqi people will benefit from the synergies and economies of scale that come from a united Islam, sharing a common vision to annihilate the Great American Satan and his despicable Zionist minions.”

Merger negotiations between the factions have apparently settled every major issue except the equitable distribution of eternal rewards following joint martyrdom missions.

That was a close call, but it's gratifying to see nacent capitalism come to the aid of nascent democracy.

Monk

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Christian Carnival CXIII

'm a little late in posting this Christian Carnival, but considering I posted nothing between editions XCI and CXII, I think I'm doing well.

An interesting pair of posts presents differing views of militancy and turning the other cheek within the chruch and without. Liberal blogger Mike at Waving or Drowning lays down this latest twist on an age-old argument of Christian pacifists:

You'll have to forgive my stubbornness on this one. I've spent the past week or so immersed in the pericope of The Great Commandment (pdf file), found in Matthew 22:34-40. Mark 12:28-34, and Luke 10: 25-28.

Luke's account, which is the most unique as well as my favorite, says this:

"You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength, and with all your mind; and your neighbor as yourself."

Note that it does not say:

"You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength, and with all your mind; and your neighbor as yourself, unless your neighbor threatens your existence, in which case you may retain the right to murder him."

Idealistic, you say? Absolutely! The Ideal is our goal and ultimate destination, and we need to start contributing to it's creation now.

Perhaps we are suggesting that Jesus was exhorting individuals, and that nation-states may, out of necessity, operate under different moral and ethical guidelines. We say while pre-meditated murder is out of the question for individuals, it is acceptable national policy.

This is hypocrisy, disguised as something else. And, while it may regrettably be the current reality, it should be resisted at every turn, and not endorsed, by followers of Christ.

I can't argue against him on grounds of personal theology; if this is how he chooses to honor God, then all power to him. I am not, however, a Christian pacifist myself because God also call us to justice, and that means, by definition, interfering in and impeding the affairs of the violent offenders. It think, even in the personal realm, much of the distinction lies in what we are supposed to to when we ourselves are attacked or defiled and what we are supposed to do when we see this done to others. God commands meekness in the face of attacks on ourselves. He seems to demand action in the case of injustice against others, however, and sometimes that action leads to acts of intervention, even including war. This is the underpinning of the thoery of just war and is the key to C.S. Lewis' remarkable logic in Why I Am Not A Pacifist, which he delivered in response to pacifist Christians who advocated a similar pacifism in the face of Nazi agggression. Lewis rightly points out that at the heart of such pacifism is a materialist belief that pain and death are the greatest evils. Lewis said, "I don't think that they are. I think the suppression of a higher religion by a lower, or even a higher secular culture by a lower, a much greater evil." I agree and I don't think there's been a more cut and dried instance of this than the war we're currently in, other than perhaps World War II. If an individual Christian chooses to give up violence in any form in order to honor God the way another might give up eating meat, then we must honor that sacrifice, but Christians as a body are called upon to oppose tyrrany and spread justice as a duty.

Rcksteroni at Brutally Honest takes mike to task, but not just for his pacifism -- rather, he objects to Mike's implicitly creating a litmus test for "true Christians," which is something we all do at times:

Was Jesus exemplifying loving neighbor as himself when he called the Pharisees hypocrites (over and over) and compared them to white-washed tombs? And was he loving neighbor as himself when he cleared the temple of money-changers? Was he loving when he directed his disciples to carry a sword? Does this sort of thing suggest that isolating the loving neighbor as self text as the defining characteristic of a Christ follower is a tad... limiting?

And didn't Jesus reserve his harshest criticism for those holier-than-thou religionists who attempted to constrain who would be seen to be a followers of God?

In Mike's pell mell rush to leave behind the so called fundamentalists he abhors, he becomes one.

And yet fails to see it. It's a troubling thing.

One could argue that loving your neighbor can be evidenced by the attempt to point out to said neighbor an aspect of his belief system that seems to have some logical flaws in it.

And seems to contain the perspective that Christ spoke loudly against.

Then again, I wouldn't know.

I fail the litmus test.

I suspect many do.

Me too, I'm afraid.

Monk

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Doctor of Bloviation

The Right Reverend Nolan has way too much time on his hands. He attached another little test to his blog. Here were my results:

You Should Get a PhD in Liberal Arts (like political science, literature, or philosophy)

You're a great thinker and a true philosopher. You'd make a talented professor or writer.

What Advanced Degree Should You Get?

...which, interestingly, is exactly what he got when he took the test. It told KANH she should be an MD. Good casting, really. What degree should you get?

Monk

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The Three "Ts"

Forget readin', ritin', and 'rithmatic. Now it's the three Ts:



Bow to Michelle Malkin from Cox & Forkum

Monk

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Christian Carnival CXII

I haven't posted a Christian Carnival for ages -- not since LXXXsomething -- simply because I haven't had time to read them myself and I don't think it's fair to endorse a product I haven't used. I resolve now to start posting them and, eventually, posting to them again.

This week's carnival can be found at Adam's Blog and he has a number of excellent entries.

One that caught my eye, from Crossroads, has to do with some churches being too controlling concerning the behavior of their congregations. There is, after all, a very fine line between accountability, say to a small group or other close association of believers, and control -- dictating the behavior of group members. Sometimes the two bleed over, or at least are perceived to by members who may be lapsing and rebelling against conviction.

I guess you have to know and be in it to see the true difference, but I think Diane at Crossroads has some insights:

There is only one reason for any control - faulty organizational structure. There are two types of relationships, both of which involve that dirty word that Americans love to hate - submission! Submission, very simply put, is one person or group being led by another person or group. The leaders could be put there by a small group, by a vote, or by coercion/power

In controlling churches, usually the leader/head pastor/main enchilada is the instigator. I believe this has a lot to do with the accountability of the church's leadership to a hierarchy. In more democratic churches, there is little or no accountability beyond the local congregation and so it is easier for the strong-willed and demagogues to create cults of personality and then demand compliance with a set of rules (to act essentially as dictators). This is the same phenomenon our forefathers warned us about concerning direct democracy: once the mob rules, the one who sways the mob wields the real power.

I believe there is an inverse correlation between the degree of hierarchy in a church organization and the degree of "control" over the behavior of the congregration. Those that are more hierarchically organized tend less toward this phenomenon than those that are more democratic. Diane agrees:

How do these pastors get into their positions? Their organizational structure isn't Biblical. For instance, nowhere in the NT does it say for pastors to start churches with no [bishopric] oversight. I have found generally where there is a lot of control, it's usually independent churches; or churches within a very loose network of churches, such as Word of Faith churches which have little if any oversight. The safest churches usually are denominational ones with good oversight and supervision although at times some could fall through the cracks.

There is a fine balance to be struck here, too, however. Some church hierarchies are downright monarchical and thus more concerned about protecting their intitutional interests than in satisfying the needs of their congregations. The more monarchical the church, the greater the potential for clerical abuse and coverup as well, as the judgment the Catholic Church is currently enduring proves.

The Methodists come closer to getting it right, but I personally believe the Bishop and District Superintendant have too much power. It is possible to build megachurches around a single pastor's ministry, as witness John Ed Matheson's near-Baptist domination of Frazer UMC (this remark will get me in trouble, I know) for the past umpteen years. Don't get me wrong: the man has a unique calling and has been and continues to do great things with Frazer, but this is the exception that tests the rule. The size of his congregation and his popularity give him political disproportionate clout within our Conference. Otherwise, placement is at the whim of the Bishop and DS and the attitude toward congregations, especially smaller ones -- the ones that need talented pastors the most to grow or revive -- seems to be, "you'll take what you get and like it." I say this as a member of my congregation's Staff-Parish Relations Committee (although I may not be for much longer after this is read!), the body that has the most cognizance in the UMC for calling and "uncalling" pastors -- to the extent that any body in the congregation does. So the UMC may not be a monarchy; it's more like a feudal baronetcy.

The best organization I've seen is within the Presbyterian Church USA, wherein a real form of republicanism prevails. There is a regional and national overstructure (we will leave aside for the moment today's ideological disconnect between those bodies and most local congregations), which has broad oversight functions and ensures doctrinal compliance. It can also discipline or dismiss pastors and provides congregations lists of pastors available for various callings. The congregations themselves, however, make the calls to interview and approve a particular pastor. The pastor and the congregation mutually make the decision (with a little assistance from the Almighty, of course), which seems to me the fairest way to ensure a good "fit" bewteen pastor and parish. The board of elders makes the call and does the interviewing. The entire active congregation votes on the final decision to accept the pastorate.

In short, you need a structure of accountability to prevent dictatorships (or mob rule), but those structures need to be representative and reflect the needs and concerns of the congregation. No one does it perfectly (but, of course, Presbyterians were pre-ordained to come closest); I just wish my own denomination was a bit less feudal in how it does its business.


Monk

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Port Security, Part 2

My apologies: these winsomely lighthearted
depictions of nuke detonations won't seem funny
when this really happens, as I fear it will
in the next few years, Dubai or no Dubai

For some of us on both sides of the political fence who have been worried about the UAE port fracas, it seems we need to pay a little more attention to the basics right here at home (this from ABC via instapundit):

House Republicans vowed to defy President Bush's effort to have a Dubai company take over six major U.S. ports. But ABC News has learned about a port threat from within — a major security breach at the ports of New York and New Jersey.

The two ports handle millions of tons of cargo a year, with scores of cruise ships passing through annually. Truckers who transport much of the cargo are issued ID cards, which give them access to the ports' most sensitive areas.

ABC News has learned that the cards, given to thousands of truckers by the Port Authority of New York and New Jersey, were issued with virtually no background checks. The Department of Homeland Security recently investigated the New York and New Jersey ports, and found stunning gaps in security.

The new DHS report, obtained by ABC News, shows that of the 9,000 truckers checked, nearly half had evidence of criminal records. More than 500 held bogus driver's licenses, leaving officials unsure of their real identities.

{Note by: sometimes the MSM comes through; good journalismizing here--blog competition must be taking its toll!}

This can be easily fixed, but it probably won't be because the ports are located in staunch Blue States and the local Dems would have to take on the Teamsters to obtain any changes, which they won't. The Teamsters have too much local clout within the Democratic machine (even though the national org has gone Repub several times in the last decades).

Security is always a joke in free societies with relatively unhindered commerce anyway -- it's not profitable and it usually takes a (very big, very expensive) blood priority to make people conscious of it.

I like to recount how, when I was a fierce young bomber pilot, sitting ground alert for the Sainted Strategic Air Command (a moment of silence please; and remove your hats), I used to live in an apartment complex right off the north end of the alert pad, not 200 yards from the double razor-wire fence and not 300 yards from the throat of the "Christmas Tree," out which the bombers would sortie when called on to launch. Had I been a Rooskie saboteur vice a steely-eyed Yankee Air Pirate, I could simply have waited until the Kalxon sounded for real, taken a thump gun out to the apartment parking lot, waited until the first plane got near the throat, taken it out with a grenade or two, and then picked off the rest as they sat helpless on their pads. The security police would have been helpless to stop me, even though they searched us (the crews) going in and out of the alert complex like we were prisoners at San Quentin -- and we were the ones with the keys and codes to the ..... uh ..... devices ..... that I can neither confrim nor deny we carried. The SPs were a joke; the whole idea of security in a free society is a joke -- until something really bad happens.

Nonetheless, it doesn't seem unreasonable to require background checks on teamsters serving our ports, given their critical vulnerability. HLS is dropping the ball again.

Monk

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Congratulations Again, Nolan Dynamite!

The stylin' Rev Dynamite, taken before affectation
of his current gravitas-enhancing chin-lichen.
Reliable sources state that fiance Susanna personally selected the outfit

Official Spiritual Guru to Vita ab Alto, Reverend Nolan Dynamite, has been accepted to a full-fellowship doctoral program at Asbury Theological Seminary in Kentucky starting in June. This will entail one year of intensive on-site education, then allow him two years to write his dissertation as the lead pastor of a church somewhere here in the Alabama, West-Florida Conference. This will be a tough row to hoe for a newly-married mininsterial couple (I have read of Asbury's standards of excellence and the move to a church that will likely need resuscitation or new minting--these will both be challenges), but I can think of no one I'd rather see complete such a program.

He claims that the on-site program is, "modeled...on things like ACSC (Air Command and Staff College) and Air War College (AWC)," (both of which your humble Doctrine Monk works with daily and has intimate knowledge of), in which case I'm glad he'll get a chance to improve his golf game. Most studs in these programs are done by two pm, ostensibly to give them time to study. And they do have a demanding list of readings and projects, but many give these minimal attention, saving the extra time for play and family -- not such a very bad thing given today's operations tempo; but I suspect Asbury will demand more.

I look forward to his dissertation and have a suggested topic: "Open communication of the Good News to congregants, past and present." He could start small with his own propensity to keep his good news concerning major life changes (y'know, like marriage) effective secrets to those outside the War Eagle circular error probable for a World War II 500-pounder, and extrapolate the point into how we need to proclaim the Good News in all venues and to all people.

Just a thought.

I know readers in the Auburn area already know this news, but some Prattville-Montgomery readers may not be aware yet, so ...... now you know.

Congratulations again!

Monk

Update, 5 Feb:The Most Right Reverend Nolan responds:

Slow news week, huh, Monk?

Seriously, you're kind. Don't feel like you and the Pratt-vegas crowd have been neglected. Really, I don't think anyone in Auburn knows either! The folks down here near the Bay are just beginning to find out, but I'm sure that with the massive VaA readership it is common knowledge now!

Well, it was the only good news in weeks otherwise filled with the fecklessness of the supposedly-conservative Bush Administration and the horrifying depradations of the Uffdahadin.

Do I take that last comment as a sly joke on the dozens of internet hits I have received in my year of blogging? Lest you sneer, Mr. Pushing 12,000, I must remind you that many of my hits come from your peeps in the Auburn crib.

Monk

Update 2: KANH weighs in:

OK-this is getting a little too sweet. Although we are very excited for Nolan, Monk is trying to keep himself occupied until the delivery of what he thinks is "HIS" latest toy (lest he forget, the man may be the head of the house, but we women are the neck and can turn the head where we want:)

Pray, what "toy" would that be, O Great KANH? I know of no "toys" coming my way soon. Incidentally, Rev Nolan would do well to heed the advice KANH gives. My neck now swivels all the way 'round, like in The Exorcist. PS: I hear they teach a mean exorcism at Asbury as part of the doctoral curriculum. You ain't seen nothin' 'till you seen a Methodist Exorcism! My favorite part is when they invite the demons to a covered dish social, even though the demons usually bring green bean casserole (yuk).

Monk

Update 3: KANH attempts more drollery:

OK-not only am I the neck but it appears I'm also the memory:) Since you can't remember maybe that means it's mine, all mine! OK, so I'll need you to back it down the ramp, and to drive when I'm in tow(since Dr. B gave me the all clear for my shoulder), but beyond that, it's all mine:)

Very amusing........really. The new possession being delivered this month is no mere "toy." It is an affirmation of manhood; a thing to grunt and bark over. No woman can possess her, because she herself is a woman and must be mastered with the touch of a firm but gentle hand. Only a True Man can be expected to be Master of her.

Monk

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